to...estrange

today a total stranger called me... selfish

i was steaming... but politely told the 'stranger' there is no need to be rude... and walked away.

must say... it took every ounce of self control to not show her my middle finger n swear 'eff off bitch..!'

felt pretty good about myself

its funny...

how when we are upset... we resort to character assassinations
name calling...
sure fire way to estrange oneself from a relationship

Ryan One Liners

Clutching his chest, the lill fella comes to me n goes...

Mommmeeee....i got hurt. Is my heart broken?
Rave n I rolled off the bed laffing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i go...'No honey... heart break doesn't happen from hurting yourself over the soft bed. its when you are hurt from feelings you have'

Mommmeeeee.... will it be fixed soon?

Yes honey... it takes some time to recover from heart break. but you will be fine.

Ry: Do I have to go to the doctor to get it fixed?

*rofls...all over again*
how does he even know that word....'heart break'?! huh-huh-huh?!
......................

Mommmeeee... I can spell November...
Me... Is it?
Ryan goes... N - O - V - E - M - B - E - R
*almost faints here *

OMG... Ryan you are a genius!!!! big hugs n a 100 mwa's later... i look up to see my girl's face as sultry as thunder....

oh well! a 4 yr old who can spell a 8 ltr word IS a genius.... suck it up rave!
E

the week that was...

spent 4 days ...in bed
antibiotics .. helped kick me from outta the comforts of my blankets...
i kinda like being sick... for a day maybe... :)

this time...
not an ounce of will power to rise n shine.
wanted the world to open up and swallow me... types

a dear GF called n said..'i'm sending you food'

see i like that...
a real friend is one ...who wants to help n says...'i'm sending u stuff...'

she sent me a TON of YUMMY stuff ...which helped me tide 2 nites ...without having to fix dinner.

got well...n went overboard...n tried to wash 2 comforters in one load... n broke the washer in the process. there's now a puddle of water in the basement n the stoofid thing wont spin.. oh GREAT! just what i needed

ryan's been peeing everyday in his pants...
it used to be in his sleep... but now its when hez awake too...ugh!
i pick him up Wednesday from school... to see him in purple pants n pink shoes.... DOUBLE frikkin UGH!
*i didn't pack a change of clothes after the Monday incident*

while i want to tear my hair n scream...
all that i read says ...'patience'
patience.... that's what being a parent is. if u don't have in like a million tons...save urself some trouble .... n DON'T have kids.
that-a-my-2cents

work was good... i had a long talk with my hiring manager. she thinks my boss is working on a position for me. we talked at length of her 5 kids...one of 'em being special needs... 2 failed marriages... getting married for health insurance....managing kids n career.... living in orange... a community of rich kids n how much it sucked...
i can't complain at all in life... to some of the journeys my peers have been on... :(

then what did i do...

i had a 30% off coupon from gap... n totally enjoyed shoppin the store...
for the first time i tried their 'real straight' version as to my usual 'long n lean' jean collection. picked up some basic long sleeved t's n some ruffled stuff from H&M.

hung out at the same gf's place Sat nite... was so chill! good food... good drink... good company...

Sunday went shopping again... to return stuff..E

shopping with my GF was so much fun... she helps me pick up fun stuff...that i would never want to impulse purchase ... got a coupla lovely earrings n a silly baby doll kinda cotton top ... wonder wtf i will wear it...! maybe on vacation :)

Rave's baby sitter who watches her after school is moving... back to square one ... lookin for someone to watch her 3 days after e-kool! man... life can be easy sometimes...just sometimes... tell ya... :(

back to house hunting... what shud be a joy... is the most stressful event in my life

another week awaits.... n life goes on

and the days go by...

Mom...Justin, a boy in the next class likes me.
How do you know?
This other girl in my class, told me so... in the bathroom. And the other day at recess, Justin's friend called out to me n said 'Justin likes you...' n Justin closed his friends mouth..saying 'sush...'
How cute! I want to now meet Justin.
* he has to pass THE mommy test... before he can 'like' my kid...hihi*

Mom... what does gay mean?
*pretending to be daft* it means to be happy n jolly.
No.. the 'other' meaning...
Where did you hear it?
On the bus...some of the other kids were talking of it...what does it mean?
It means a boy who likes another boy... or a girl who likes another girl.
Is that bad Mom?
Not really... feelings you have for someone or something come naturally... so its just fine.

Diwali came n went... how come I miss home the most at this time...
do i even think of home... at say... Bday's...New Years ... Xmas... Shankranti...Easter... fun Summers... Halloween...?

is it coz Diwali is all about celebrating with family...
why am i so dependent on family / friends to make me happy?

the only relationship for life..is what i will have with myself..
hm.... wonder why i got married... had kids then?
social pressures?

work

is great! it keeps my mind occupied 8 whole hours... n i SO love that

no time to ..
eat outta boredom
to pee... until i have to race to the loo
idly browse fb n such other crap

i even forgot to call Rave's baby sitter n tell her shez got the day off.. poor woman called in panic wondering if Rave was safe... ugh! i'm bad

i am writing the best code i have ever written in my life...
n i so wanna brag of it..i miss 'grunch'...the developer geek group from my previous job n the brown bags we would present at lunch time once a week...to show off shiny code one of us wrote... n the rest of us will tear it apart... throwing new ideas on the table... geek'dom...sigh!

i tried to show the other developer at work...whoz legacy stuff it is i am stripping down n cleaning up.... he was just relived to see me restructure the monster he ended up building over the years... piling on code over more code to take care of constantly moving targets.... poor guy! hez a saint!

i have eliminated some million lines of code with some 100 lines of brilliantly thought of carefully crafted genius logic! pat pat..on my back!

viola... i feel well worth every penny i bill per hour!
thatz whatz job satisfaction...

someone once said to me...
work for the pleasure of it...
i truly am... finally!