lill words... big impact

was out sick as a dog n sittin on the porch...
eagerly awaiting the hi'ly hyped hurricane...Earl

just some half hearted gray clouds gathered around in the twilight zone...lookin ... oh! so lame!
leaves lightly stir in the even lazier evening breeze...
*so much for 50 m speed winds n all*

Ryan wanted to come snuggle next to me.

i ask him...
Ryan will you take care of me.. when i am old?
He replies in a snap...
'Yes... I'll feed you mammu.'
n then goes...
'but i don't know how to make dudu...
and i can't drive a car...'
i hugged him close... touched so deep to the bottom of my heart.

i ask my girl the same thing this morning...
she goes... totally nonchalant
'i dunno...'
*haha!*

my kids ... my life begins and ends with them.
i am ... but nothing without them

*in the unlikely event of me dying an early death... one of you readers of this lame blog... pls keep track of my kids n share this URL with 'em... when thy grow to be teens... EEE *

Ryan One liners

the dish washer's broke.. and I've been bitchin n moaning every nite...to do the dishes... lill aware that lill ears are a listening!
Friday nite... i get off the couch at 930pm ish n go..
Ok folks... i am gonna crash...
Ryan: Then whoz gonna do the dishes?

..................

Ryan: I can spell my name... R - Y - A - N.... Ryan
*cheers from whole family*
Me: can you spell my name Ryan
Ryan: D - O - M - R - N - K - P... goes on the name every alphabet in the books....

..................

Ryan all lost in the laptop...
tapping away at something...n goes
'Hey guys... look at this...' *screaming in hi pitch*
we all look at his laptop...n he goes....
'can i have this?'
Dad: Ya rite next..you'll help yourself to a credit card n buy it yourself..looks like'

................

we visit a dear friends new born baby...
looking at the swaddled peacefully snoozing sweet munchkin of a baby...
Ryan goes 'hez so little... is he for real?'

a typical day...

wake up at 645...
fix breakfast
get rave ready
pack lunches / snacks
give kids b'fast

get ready
scramble out...
drop ryan off...spend 2 minutes to settle him in

race round the corner to work... to sign in before 9 am
get a tall mug of coffee
work
work
work
bio break at 11
work
lunch break at noon
work
work
work
tea n bio break at 3
call rave's baby sitter to check if she got in...
n talk to rave for a minute...nag her to get started on homework
work
work
work
before i know it its 5
pack up..

get ryan from day care
get rave from her sitter
get home
fix kids dudu n a snack
turn on laptop
catch up on fb / gmail... world happenings
give kids bath
do homework with Rave

fix dinner
eat dinner
clean up
get back on fb / gmail / world
11 pm...sign off
go crash ... in a wink

my day ... gives me NO time
to think
to fret
to nag
to eat mindlessly
to be bored

i LOVE it! being busy

Flashback

same khaa-thoo asadu valiyare EEE-shmile...
first is at Zurich...first day of work in foreign lands, the second is first day of work in my local town!

pre babies ... post babies!
skinnier now... no?
*save for the bust...lol*

riding the hi wave....

life's good

work is keeping me mentally challenged...
n my super hyper brain... NEEDS that.

i love to write code...
break down complex functionality ... swirl objects in my head... think in the abstract... watch people use an app i built... is awesome!
love... love... love it!

my brain... has been idling too long.
a whole freakin year long!

funny... its 7 years since I worked full time...
n my old bones n head hurts ... end of day.
n its GREAT!

no time to think...
no time to mope...
no time to whine... hihihi!

n for the frosting on my cake...

sth silly happened today...
i walked to my cube this morning... n sat down to realize my mouse was missing...
i mumbled out loud sayin 'hmm! my mouse is missing...'
n was idly opening the file drawers to see if someone playing a prank had put it in there...

my boss poked his head over my cube wall... asking 'What happened?'
i told him what happened..
2 minutes later he throws my mouse over the wall.. saying 'at least u have a sense of humor'

lol! how lucky can one gal get?
silly me... working with as 'silly as me' fine people!
i'm lovin it!

* i plan to unplug all 3 of his monitors...tomorrow ;) *

how to complicate life...

get attached...
get dependent

viola!

immediately follows...
wanting more...
expectations...
needless misunderstandings...
hurt feelings...

well.. we are humans after all.

to stay in a peaceful state of mind...
don't get attached to anybody / anything.

budham charanam gachami!

ya RITE! :)

weak post

the luxury...
of the bathroom .. when i need it

a long and hot shower...
time to groom... even straighten my hair

time to throw on some lip color
time to even brush my hair n pop a gum....

all this before i leave the house... in the morning
instead of doing *the last 2* at stop lites on the drive in....to work

the hubs... is on vacay... all of this week ... E

musical chairs

the conference room was all set...
food against one wall...
tables set along the 3 walls....
with chairs on either side of the 3' wide tables set as so |_|

being among the first few to get in line *ahem!*.... i set the water i was sipping at a spot near the door
my boss Robyn saw me do this n said ...the desserts will be set behind the spot you chose and the foot traffic will be annoying.
so i switched my water cup to the seat across from the current spot.

loaded my plate and was about to sit down, when i noticed the early starters were taking spots at the far end of the room. Didn't want to sit by myself until people started filling in... so i grabbed my water n went n sat with the rest at the far end.

it was full house in a few minutes... and the Director gave his customary welcome n enjoy n happy holidays message n announced....
folks look under your seats... there are 10 lucky people sitting on chairs with an envelope stuck under it.
mad scramble follows...
nothing under mine... oh well!

then Director saab goes... now open your envelopes... of the 10 of you, 2 lucky people have won gifts!
Turned out Lori and David from the IS department won...

their surprise gifts...? iPod Nano's

what's so great you ask?
David was seated at the second spot I chose to move out of
and Lori.. the first spot Robyn asked me to move out of...

Robyn was kicking herself saying...'See ...nothing good comes off listening to me'

Told Lori my saga... n she goes 'Oh no... do you want to have this?'... extending her nano to me....

:)

ma noo look..

now go imagining this same outfit in a...

white shirt
gray skirt
and black knee hi boots

on a size 4...
*awrite...awrite!* ...
sometimes size 6...
brown person!

Hit H&M on the recommendation of a pal from... India!

I would NEVER have shopped the store for formals...EVER!
Must say... was quite pleasantly surprised.

In 5 minutes...my pal Su and I picked a white shirt and gray pencil skirt.

tried it on.... looked HOT! I tried to sit down n see how comfortable the skirt was...
only to have the skirt ride up to mid thi'...
n jatti play peek-a-boo! hihi!

Su very solemnly tells me...'don't wear it on a day you have meetings...at work'

she is SO lol'ness!

promise... to share pix... when i eventually wear it :)
---------------

n i did... today! EEE

my first BF....

sale

after a decade of living here...
stood in lineo... at 10 pm last nite... 30 deg temps n lite rain n all...
for a collective hour n 40 minutes... to buy one iPod touch

worth every minute

waited an additional 40 minutes ... this time in the comfort of my warm vehicle... for old navy to open up... at 12 midnite
gave up.. afta looking at the long winding line around the store.

oh! screw it... i ain't waiting 'nother additional 2 hrs to chk out ....
bubble jackets for the family... can wait... till the 'mornin...
i needed to pee... like a race horse... hihi

went home... played with the iTouch....

downloaded iTunes...
sent an email... updated ma fb status... haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! i love eeeet!

was so thrilled... like a kid... in a candy store

really... i am a kid at heart... never grew up...never will
n i like that!

slept in today... n sauntered out at 10 ish this a.m.... to target... burlington... walmart... old navy ... with kids in tow.

the 2 were SO frikkin well behaved...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*hm... my threat to drop Ry off at school n Ravie at her baby sitters...if they didn't behave...worked ;) *

bot all the stuff i had on ma chk list... rubber maid storage boxes ... to cozy sweaters...to big gaudy dial wrist watch ...to burgandy colored bubble jacket...n all... EEE

success... to me is....when u can spend money... without looking at the stoofid bill
...n feel not one teeny ounce of freakin guilt

cheers!
i <3 br="" for="" i="" life....="" my="" now="" work...="">
am hiiiii on vino... rite now... can u tell ? *silly grin n all*

new... what?

another new years...
new decade too this one

i am filled with hope and +ve attitude.... on the eve.
life will be good...
life will be enriching
good things will happen... blah blah

even made a new resolution this year
to speak my mind... no holds barred

it lasted all of 18 hrs
when i said 'get lost..' n hurt someone close to my heart
so much for new year resolutions

i love to travel
i can backpack around the world... if i could

grand canyon.... deserts of AZ NV and CA... brown dirt ...rock... n craggy skylines everywhere...
earth tones... bare mountains...
so regal
so majestic

with no excuses for its appearance
so still....tranquil.. untouched...beautiful

mother nature... you are one heck of a woman

thats how i want to live my life
making no excuses ...n proud of myself
regardless of what / who i am

happy 2011 folks!

kill me now

bear with this geek talk...

This App I have been working on last 3+ months...
for the longest ever there has been this mail send window that pops up when a refresh happens on the document.
Used to X out the window and even told my testers... its required behavior and to do as i say... and continue with the test.

Today... for the first time... i actually looked at what the message was in the pop up...
turns out it was a needless 'present mail send dialog' option checked on a field somewhere by accident on the form.

rewind to a few years back ... when my boss from a previous job asked this of me... when talking about spending some time to automate a manual time consuming process...

'How can you tolerate inefficiency? how long can you live with discomforts before you even think of fixing it?'

is it me? or is it something that my upbringing and culture has thought me all along?

tolerance

therez only so much you can push a human... before break... down

i'm...

the worlds dumbest genius and the worlds tallest midget

Journey.. part 1

a sweet lill kid...
a dreamer...
a sensitive child...
he loved to play football

his fave times were playing with the neighborhood kids on the streets of the hot city
his way of escaping...

escaping a home... where dad was ill
and money was tight

his goals were set... by the family
pull up your grades and support the family

he got accepted at one of the Ivy league colleges up North in the country...
but the family worried he may drift away from them n not return ...to support them

he got sent to a local school down south

his grades were up top...first coupla years
then it dropped down to just scrapping thru'

he excelled at public speaking
confidence oozed outta every pore

he liked this girl... form his class
he thought much... for her family and his ...and if they would match
and never expressed a word... of his feelings

graduation day...
everyone went their way

they stayed in touch a coupla years...over mail

things were getting tuff at home...
while he would have loved to write copy n dabble in creative writing...
he had a lill sis to put thru college... n family to support

he chose...
to get serious about ...
his career
his girl... and he... were but not meant to be

he went after a profession in marketing with aggression
climbed up and down endless steps... making cold calls
and his career soared as well

many years later...
he met this other girl...
they got to know each other n didn't think much of the other

their paths crossed again a few years later
she was broken... from a relationship
n found comfort...in his calmness

they got to know more of the other...
the good..the bad.. n the ugly

while he knew... what he felt wasn't love
he believed the love would grow...

n they chose to get married

the magic didn't last long
things went down south...

he always loved kids...wanted 6 in all
she wasn't ready

after many years of convincing ...
she came around... they felt a baby will bring them together
so 5 years into the marriage ...their lill princess arrived

it wasn't meant to be
they grew further apart... n drifted
it wasn't working... she asked him to leave

he fought... to stay
saying he will stay as dad to their sweet child

but clarity of thought said ...
a marriage is between a man n a woman
for the sake of love
not for the sake of a child

something snapped
a total family guy... who craved family n children...
n loved his child to the bottom of his heart
left

today...
he is...
not even 40 and a millionaire...
successful... good looking and with so much to offer

today...
he travels...
in a total tangent ...
to the circle of love and care n deep emotion he is capable of

not a lucky soul in his life ... to be showered with all that love
a free spirit

but...
alone

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*DISCLAIMER - Nothing in this story is related to anyone alive / dead... and is purely a figment of my imagination.
This is the first of a many part series...
on life's journeys... and loneliness...
stay tuned... for more*

Ryan one liners

was a pal's kid's 10th bday party... at a fine Indian restaurant.

suddenly i am rediscovering my love for saris... used to collect them like each one was a treasure...

hunt n hunt n hunt... for THE perfect sari.
n drag my Sis up and down 20 stores... back home... each single time...!

so i pulled out one of my all time fave's that i got at Diwali some 15 yrs back.... from mahaveers... a brilliant copper sulfate blue sari with hand painted swirls along the borders... in a splash of bright colors. that is so typical of my taste!

Ryan saw me all dressed n goes...
'Why you wearing India?'

thatz how much my kids know about the sari.... E

note to self... wear more India... EEE!